My son and daughter came home from college this weekend for Mother’s Day–the perfect gift! But the moment they walked in the door, I observed something that all cancer survivors experience…..uncertainty. While my children and I talk frequently during the semesters, they don’t actually see me that much. They always ask me how I am feeling after treatment, and are eager to help any way they can, but I know that when they are about to actually see me after a long time, they brace themselves a bit. What if I look different? Weaker somehow, or sick? Have I lost my color or worse, my hair? And for that brief millisecond when our eyes connect, I can see that they are evaluating me. What a weird feeling! But in talking to other cancer patients, it is absolutely normal. I just never thought that I would be the one being evaluated! (oh, and by the way, I look “absolutely the same”, according to my children. I’m taking that to mean that I haven’t aged at all either……….)
