Heads or Tails?

I spent the better part of last evening with a friend of mine (although we have never met, we have become more intimate than most friends ever get due to our shared status as cancer survivors). She was faced with the challenge of deciding what treatment to try next. The situation is almost impossible to understand unless you’ve been there. Imagine…..you have a terrible disease (okay, not so hard to understand so far). But should you do traditional treatment, which you know has unpleasant side effects? Or perhaps a more alternative treatment that has less unpleasant-ness, but not as much information on what really happens to you down the line? Should you let your body take a break from all those chemicals (because we all know that chemotherapy will eventually cause another cancer). Or should you keep chugging along as long as you can in an effort to keep the cancer at bay? Back and forth, back and forth. The bad part is that no one….NO ONE…..has the right answer. And even worse….you have to second guess yourself.

In the end, she decided to go for alternative treatment. What courage it takes to go forward, one step at a time, into the darkness of the unknown. To everyone that has to make those choices, my sympathy and my admiration go with you. Onward…….

Call your Texas Representative!

Let’s hear it for the Lone Star State! The Lance Armstrong Foundation has helped change the way Texas deals with cancer by spearheading the campaign to pass a bill aimed at cancer research. At this moment, the bills have passed through the Senate Finance Committee (unanimously!), and are now looking for support from the Senate. If passed, the bills allow Texas to invest 3 billion (yes, BILLION) dollars over the next ten years for cutting edge cancer research and programs. If you are in Texas, write your elected officials and tell them how important this is.

My Evaluation

My son and daughter came home from college this weekend for Mother’s Day–the perfect gift! But the moment they walked in the door, I observed something that all cancer survivors experience…..uncertainty. While my children and I talk frequently during the semesters, they don’t actually see me that much. They always ask me how I am feeling after treatment, and are eager to help any way they can, but I know that when they are about to actually see me after a long time, they brace themselves a bit. What if I look different? Weaker somehow, or sick? Have I lost my color or worse, my hair? And for that brief millisecond when our eyes connect, I can see that they are evaluating me. What a weird feeling! But in talking to other cancer patients, it is absolutely normal. I just never thought that I would be the one being evaluated! (oh, and by the way, I look “absolutely the same”, according to my children. I’m taking that to mean that I haven’t aged at all either……….)

Don’t Stop

In a continuation of the Ted Koppel’s “Living With Cancer” program, there were a few suggestions from cancer survivors as to how to continue living with cancer. It boils down to this: You have to continue living. Not just “putting in time”, waiting to see how long you will last, but REALLY living. So….go plant a garden. Enroll in the Book of the Month club. Make travel plans for next summer. Take a foreign language. Enroll in a college course. Learn to ballroom dance. Look forward to your next high school reunion. Make long range plans now for the future. It’ll be here before you know it!

New Mantra…

The war on cancer is gaining momentum, thanks in part to the media. Last night, Ted Koppel (along with Lance Armstrong and Elizabeth Edwards) hosted an amazing program called “Living With Cancer” on the Discovery Channel. One of the featured patients was Leroy Sievers, who discusses his journey through cancer with incredible courage and humor. Mr. Sievers was given the same mantra that I was (”there’s nothing more we can do”), and he too found his way to radiofrequency ablation. The procedure was successful, and while his cancer is not cured (once cancer moves from its original site, I don’t think you can ever be really cured), his future is a lot more optimistic! You can go to the Discovery Channel website for more information on the program, or visit Sievers’ blog at npr.com. Kudos to all the worked so hard to make such an important program.

One thing that rang so true from Lance’s discussions was the “job” of a cancer survivor. (By the way, a cancer “survivor” is anyone who has or has had cancer and is alive to talk about it). Once cancer impacts our lives, it’s almost a sacred responsibility to be there for someone else. To share our experiences. To pass on information. And most importantly, to listen to other survivors with all our attention. Together….but only together….. we can beat cancer.