Is it enough?

As I drove away from the University of Texas’s campus yesterday, I couldn’t help but wonder. Knowing what I know now, would I have done anything differently in the raising of my children? They are both UT students now, and have “left the nest”. Should I have given them more, so that they wouldn’t have had to struggle so much? Should I have given them less, so that they would have had to work harder? Should I have emphasized different things, like better nutrition (my daughter still considers chocolate to be a food group by itself)? Should I have spent more or less time with them? Should I have been more free with them, or more strict? When I was diagnosed with cancer, should I have shared more about my fears, or less?

Did I do everything I could to prepare them for life as an adult?

As I put more and more miles between us, it occurred to me that every parent does exactly what is right for them. The best thing we can do is to tell our kids that we love them, and then sit back and let them live their lives, remembering that it is THEIR lives, not ours.

Wish me luck.........

Mother and Child Reunion

Yesterday was Mother’s Day to a special friend of mine. Long ago (24 years, to be exact), I was a brand new college professor, very close to the age of most of my students. One of those students was an incredibly smart, funny, talented teenager that had to misfortune to get pregnant. Her fiancé disappeared, and this young lady was absolutely lost with nowhere to go. I brought her home with me (this was in a less politically-correct world), and she lived with my husband and I until she delivered her first born, a son. She placed him up for adoption, and while she grieved terribly, she knew she was doing the right thing for him. Now, years later, she has a wonderful husband and two children, who (like their mother) are incredibly smart, funny and talented. Yesterday she received an email from her first born, who has been searching for her for some time now and has finally found her. They love each other already, and it’s an answer to both of their prayers. Now my friend can truly live happily ever after!

Inspire

As children started up at school all over America this month, this quote came to mind. I hope I remembered it correctly!


Average teachers teach
Good teachers explain
Superior teachers demonstrate
Great teachers inspire

I ASPIRE to inspire.........

Positive Reinforcement

The topic at lunch today was about how few of us ever get—or give—positive reinforcement to the folks that we work for or with. A new study came out this morning from a radio consulting firm, saying that 90% of the working force in America says they haven’t gotten any positive feedback on the job for at least a year. 90%. That’s just about everyone. So at lunch, we sat around and tried to remember the last time someone said anything nice about our work performance. Wow....it’s been a long time. And then the discussion turned to how many times we had said something positive to the folks that worked with or for us. Hmmmm. Ouch. We all immediately resolved to go back to work and give out some well-deserved praise.

Have you said something positive to someone today?

Loss

This past weekend, I had a death in the family. Not my actual immediate family, but in the growing collection of individuals that have cancer and are in some way connected to me. No matter what the connection, whether it be a neighbor, member of the PTA, friend of a friend,or business contact, we are all members of this family, which (instead of a gene pool) has a disease as a basis. We all cheer each other on in the good times, and pray for each other in the bad. The fact that we may never have met each other-or even spoken to each other- does not matter. The bond, although not tangible, exists. So tonight, although I mourn for a life lost to cancer, I rejoice in knowing that there is no more pain for him. And I say a prayer for his loved ones.