Merry Christmas!

As we approach Christmas Day, the rituals and customs and wonderful things that make the holiday what it is sometimes get overshadowed by the stress of the season. If you are missing the twinkling lights because you’re late to a sale, or don’t have time for hot cocoa because you need to address a zillion Christmas cards, or find yourself avoiding old friends because you just don’t have time to catch up, take a moment and BREATHE. You’ll feel better for it, and so will the ones you love.

…and if you can, say a prayer for all the men and women in the armed forces that are risking everything for each of us. And for their families as well.

Post-Birthday Party notes:

I’ve tried and tried to figure out how to put a description of our birthday party/celebration at Mixed Nuts ( a local hang-out which defies description itself) into words. In fact, several folks came over to me during the party and asked how it would read on the blog. How do you communicate a combination of old friends, success stories, music and beer, the pure generosity of so many, dancing on tables (yes, really) and general craziness? So suffice it to say (and I’m quoting this) “what happened at Mixed Nuts STAYS at Mixed Nuts.”

On a personal note, I learned…or at least, re-learned several lessons that night. How people from ALL walks of life can unite for something good. How simple acts of kindness have a ripple effect, and can inspire others. How the people you least expect to help are often the ones that help the most. And above all, how friends, both old AND new, can change a life.

Thank you for making my birthday party so special…..

It's Beginning to Look Like Christmas

Can you believe it's December already? I personally LOVE everything about December, from the lights and the caroling to the cooking and the relatives stopping by (even the ones you don't like so much). I love getting that perfect gift for someone, sending and receiving cards (especially from the unexpected!) and watching all the Christmas classic movies on TV late at night. I love college students coming home, new families showing off their babies, and relatives renewing old bonds. I love the intangible need for everyone to get to where they belong for the holidays. If you come across someone that doesn't have a place to belong, see if you can offer him or her one. If we all stretch just a little bit, surely we can create even more happy folks this season......

Happy After Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone's vacation was as wonderful as mine. Full of family, friends and food. Lots of food. And naturally, since I have teenagers that headed back to college, I have absolutely zero leftovers left. Now for the fun part.....I got lots and lots of responses to "who would you want to spend a day with?" from my last entry. Some of the most interesting choices were: Florence Nightingale, William Wallace, Benjamin Franklin, Genghis Kahn (really?), Mary, Queen of Scots, John F. Kennedy, Marie Curie, Princess Diana, John Lennon, Marilyn Monroe, Al Capone, and King Tutankhamun. Lots of people wanted to spend a day with Jesus Christ, as well as several of the Disciples. But overwhelmingly, the majority of people that responded wished they could be with one of their parents that have passed on. So if your parents are still living, give them a hug today.

Who?

A friend of mine gave me Mitch Albom's latest book "for one more day". I had read one of his previous works (The Five People You Meet in Heaven) right after my mother's death, and was very comforted by it , so I was intrigued to check out his latest book. Again, same response---very comforting, somewhat thought provoking. So here's my question--if you could have one more day with someone, ANYONE.....who would you want it to be?

Notes from the Livestrong Summit

Even though the Lance Armstrong Summit is over, I am still mulling over things I learned. I wrote this down in my notebook:

Work hard. Work smart. Serve others first. Put your whole self into what yo are doing. Live for the moment. Know what's important and protect it with all your might.

Love well. Lighten up. And be thankful.

I am trying to remain all of the above....even though this past weekend was a chemotherapy weekend and I am green.....

Livestrong Summit

I'm back from a whirlwind weekend in Austin for the Lance Armstrong LIVESTRONG Summit! I have never been so motivated, and so humbled at the same time. Amazing people that have gone WAY beyond to work towards something that affects SO many people. Did you know that nearly 1.4 million people in our country alone will be diagnosed with cancer this year?!? We can not afford to be bystanders anymore. Some of the motivational words that I got during the event that still echo in my head:

-Cancer is both ruthless and relentless. In order to survive it, you must match it. Be ruthless and relentless in your quest to find the best cure, the best treatment, the best facility, the best physician for YOU.

-Cancer survivorship requires unwavering faith and the discipline to prevail, even as you confront the most brutal facts about the disease and how it will affect you.

-It's okay to be angry at cancer. Anger can be a gift, a vehicle to motivate you to fight.

And the most interesting thought that was shared by the majority of survivors was the concept that cancer often becomes a person's defining moment. It forever alters their personality, their priorities, their calling in life. Nearly every cancer survivor I talked to said they were a better person because of their cancer. It requires you to focus on what is important, to shake away the unnecessary and the petty details of life, and to work to make a difference.

friendsofcathy.com Wristbands!

Friends of Cathy wristbands!?!?!? To say that my jaw dropped to the ground when I looked at the website is an understatement! It's my understanding that an individual that wants to remain anonymous donated the wristbands. All I can say is thank you thank you thank you. I am truly touched, and blessed to have you in my life.

Conversations and Prayers

Over the past two years, more and more requests for information come to me via this website (and a thank you! to my wonderful webmaster!). I end up talking for hours on the phone sometimes to people that I will never meet, yet have an incredible bond with. Naturally, not everyone beats cancer. This week has been rough. I would like to say a prayer for Maggie and Jim and Jennie. Godspeed.

The Simple Things in Life...

The irony of it all. I was at the UT campus this past weekend, as a guest at my son's fraternity for a football game (and there's a whole other story there, but....). Anyway, I got to talking to another parent, who has a recurring condition that makes it hard for her to get out of bed some days. She shared with me her irritation about how sick people desperately want to just do the normal, day in day out stuff that everyone else does. But because of their condition, they can't do it. "If I was normal, like all my friends, I would be estatic about running errands and grocery shopping and taking out the trash and driving carpool---all the things my friends complain about" she confided. Isn't it ironic that the very things that one person hates, another person wishes for? I find that sick people often don't wish for extravagant things like traveling to Europe or going on a cruise....they dream about the day they can simply go to work, run a few errands on the way home, cook dinner and go to bed. So perplexing....

Home

I have decided that there really is 'no place like home'. It's good to be back in Texas (even though I was born in New York and spent most of my youth in Florida, I'm hooked!). I'll be getting ready to do a chemotherapy regime in a week or two, and get back on the track again. I will share a story with you though, about the payoff of teaching. While I was in Mississippi, I ran into a student from a LOOONNNGGGG time ago, around 1991 I believe. (Of course, I was but a child when I taught him). He was the biggest rebel in class, and now he is the Program Director of a major radio station in the Jackson area, all grown up and very successful. And he said the magic words "everything you taught me was true." Which of course, were followed by the second most magic words "I'll buy lunch!" Another blessing.

Treatment, take two

It's Monday and I am still in Mississippi. My radiofrequency ablation procedure on Friday had to be cut short, so the plan is to finish everything today. Again, I appreciate all the prayers...keep 'em coming!

Treatment

Today I am having a Radiofrequency Ablation procedure done in Mississippi. Please keep me in your prayers.

Make the Call

I went to the birthday party of the mother of a friend of mine the other day. It was in Beaumont, so I caught a ride with another friend. We got to talking (you can tell I'm in Texas!) about families, and she mentioned that her mother had called her a couple times in the last month or two and she hadn't had a chance to get back with her. It reminded me of something I might have said a few years back. There were many times that I meant to call, but you know how busy life gets and good intentions just stay that way. Two years ago this week, my mother passed away. I was blessed to have had the privilege of being with her in the last hour of her life, and as a result, I am at peace with her death. It would have been tragic if we had not had the opportunity to say the things we needed to say. I told my friend not to wait any longer. We never know when our loved ones will be gone. So today, for me and all the other people in the world that have lost their mothers, call yours and tell her you love her.

Patriot's Day

Like a million other folks, I watched the documentary last night about the events of 9/11. Today as I drove to work, I somberly noticed all the flags at half mast, and listened to snippets of rebroadcasts from that terrible day up and down the radio dial. 9/11 was truly a day that redefined our world, and the place that Americans play in it. With that thought, I am intrigued at a philisophical battle that is going on now between the producers of the documentary and the FCC. If you've seen it, you know there is profanity in it. The FCC had previously said that any station that aired the program in entirety, with the profanity, would be liable for severe fines. Several organizations heard that and have launched a petition several hundred thousand strong to protest, saying that to censor the true events would be disrespectful to those that were involved. Did you watch it? Were you offended? Would it have been odd if there was no profanity at all in it? If the firefighters on the scene when the first plane hit exclaimed "gosh darn, look at that?" Would you have believed it? As a broadcaster, I want to know.......

Is it enough?

As I drove away from the University of Texas’s campus yesterday, I couldn’t help but wonder. Knowing what I know now, would I have done anything differently in the raising of my children? They are both UT students now, and have “left the nest”. Should I have given them more, so that they wouldn’t have had to struggle so much? Should I have given them less, so that they would have had to work harder? Should I have emphasized different things, like better nutrition (my daughter still considers chocolate to be a food group by itself)? Should I have spent more or less time with them? Should I have been more free with them, or more strict? When I was diagnosed with cancer, should I have shared more about my fears, or less?

Did I do everything I could to prepare them for life as an adult?

As I put more and more miles between us, it occurred to me that every parent does exactly what is right for them. The best thing we can do is to tell our kids that we love them, and then sit back and let them live their lives, remembering that it is THEIR lives, not ours.

Wish me luck.........

Mother and Child Reunion

Yesterday was Mother’s Day to a special friend of mine. Long ago (24 years, to be exact), I was a brand new college professor, very close to the age of most of my students. One of those students was an incredibly smart, funny, talented teenager that had to misfortune to get pregnant. Her fiancé disappeared, and this young lady was absolutely lost with nowhere to go. I brought her home with me (this was in a less politically-correct world), and she lived with my husband and I until she delivered her first born, a son. She placed him up for adoption, and while she grieved terribly, she knew she was doing the right thing for him. Now, years later, she has a wonderful husband and two children, who (like their mother) are incredibly smart, funny and talented. Yesterday she received an email from her first born, who has been searching for her for some time now and has finally found her. They love each other already, and it’s an answer to both of their prayers. Now my friend can truly live happily ever after!

Inspire

As children started up at school all over America this month, this quote came to mind. I hope I remembered it correctly!


Average teachers teach
Good teachers explain
Superior teachers demonstrate
Great teachers inspire

I ASPIRE to inspire.........

Positive Reinforcement

The topic at lunch today was about how few of us ever get—or give—positive reinforcement to the folks that we work for or with. A new study came out this morning from a radio consulting firm, saying that 90% of the working force in America says they haven’t gotten any positive feedback on the job for at least a year. 90%. That’s just about everyone. So at lunch, we sat around and tried to remember the last time someone said anything nice about our work performance. Wow....it’s been a long time. And then the discussion turned to how many times we had said something positive to the folks that worked with or for us. Hmmmm. Ouch. We all immediately resolved to go back to work and give out some well-deserved praise.

Have you said something positive to someone today?

Loss

This past weekend, I had a death in the family. Not my actual immediate family, but in the growing collection of individuals that have cancer and are in some way connected to me. No matter what the connection, whether it be a neighbor, member of the PTA, friend of a friend,or business contact, we are all members of this family, which (instead of a gene pool) has a disease as a basis. We all cheer each other on in the good times, and pray for each other in the bad. The fact that we may never have met each other-or even spoken to each other- does not matter. The bond, although not tangible, exists. So tonight, although I mourn for a life lost to cancer, I rejoice in knowing that there is no more pain for him. And I say a prayer for his loved ones.

Question of the day....

If we knew how things were going to turn out, would we go through them? Would we cut corners, not exert ourselves, take the easy way out? Would we cease to pay attention to the little niceties that make a life special if we knew that they had no impact at all? It seems that part of our human existence is based on the fact that we don’t know what will happen to us and the world around us. If we did, would we be tempted to only spend time and effort on things that would endure and ignore the rest?

(as you can see, the fact that it has rained for over a week is depressing us.....)

A Pebble in a Pond...

Most of us at one time or another will have something happen to us that causes us to ask "why me?" As a cancer patient, I remember the first (and certainly not the only!) time I pondered why I had "drawn the short straw" in life. Today I shared these thoughts with an old friend over lunch, and that topic came up. The only way I can get my mind around it is to believe that it's not about me. Perhaps the lesson to be learned (and I have to believe that there IS a lesson!)will center around someone else's reaction TO me. Maybe I'm just a ripple effect? It was refreshing to share that concept and have someone else be in agreement. Maybe I'm NOT so crazy after all!

I have to say that the test of a friend is when you haven't seen each other in years, yet pick up the conversation as if you've been in constant contact. It makes me smile....

Out of this World 4th

What better way to spend July 4th than watching the shuttle launch in Florida! I went home (to the Cape Canaveral area) for the week to spend time with my family, and as a bonus was able to experience another successful launch. No matter if you support the space program or not, didn’t you feel incredibly patriotic as you heard the words “”and we have lift off.....” and watched the shuttle head into the clouds? Traveling on the 4th of July was incredibly stressful, with all the added security that we have in place now. Do you remember when taking a trip by plane meant just waltzing into the terminal and onto the airplane, with no checking of anything? How our world has changed! Anyway, Happy 4th of July and God Bless the USA!

What Would You Do?

So here’s the dilemma one of my neighbors posed to me this past week: Let’s say you have cancer (or any disease will do), and you know your time on earth may be limited. Naturally, you want to spend as much time creating memories with your family as possible, right? But, being a cancer patient, the medical bills start piling up and health care costs start skyrocketing, so you are forced to cut corners and forgo luxuries. So where do you draw the line? You want to go places, maybe take a trip with your kids to somewhere that they’ll always remember, but how do you justify charging up your credit card for a beach and “quality time” when you’re having to cut your grocery bills? Do you do it? Can you put a price on creating a memory? Or do you just eat a lot of macaroni and cheese? Any thoughts?

Rain, Rain Go Away!

Could it rain any more in the Houston area? This morning I spent four hours parked on the Gulf Freeway in Houston, trying to get to the airport so I could go to Mississippi for a meeting at the new ablation clinic. No dice. Streets flooded, flights cancelled. You know, it’s unsettling to actually park your car on top of a highway overpass.

And my thought for the day is for all the fathers out there. I heard in church yesterday that the greatest gift a father can give his children is to love their mother. I thought that was so sweet, and so true. Happy Father’s Day to all!

Death to Cancer Cells

I’m not too comfortable about this date, but I’m looking at it as “death to cancer cells!” since I start back on chemotherapy today. I just had my last ablation procedure at the American Cancer Ablation Center in Gulf Shores this past weekend, and it was a great success. That facility is merging with another cancer treatment facility in Jackson, Mississippi called Sapheneia, and I will be traveling there for future ablation treatments. I have had more and more opportunities to talk to people about the procedure, and it really is amazing! (oh, and for those of you that asked, my daughter’s first colonoscopy was fine. She is YOUNG to have one, but with a family history like ours, it’s better to be over-cautious than not!)

Graduation Season

This week all over Texas, thousands of students of all ages are graduating. Moving to the “next step” is hugely important, wildly exciting and just plain scary. My daughter (and she’s my baby!) is graduating from high school this week, and will go to join her brother at the University of Texas at Austin in August. She is thrilled. I am thrilled for her, but every time I look at her, I see her when she was a little girl, learning to walk or at gymnastics class or trying to keep up with her big brother. Big eyes and a head full of ringlets and a goofy smile. I was so proud of myself for staying upbeat when my son graduated, but I have a sneaking suspicion that I will fail miserably this time around. Oh, and if anyone has any suggestions on the “perfect gift” for a high school graduate, I’m all ears!

Share Your Stories

Attention all readers of this website! I have had an offer to co-author a collection of stories that in some way center around cancer experiences. Patients, caregivers, families, children, physicians—everyone knows someone that has been affected by cancer. I’ve already received numerous letters and emails, and I want to encourage everyone and anyone to send me their stories. As a patient, I know how important it is to be able to read about someone else’s battle with cancer, and I have gained strength and courage through it. Please help us! You could make the difference in someone’s life.

Be Proactive!

My hat off to a website I stumbled on this past week.....and I urge you to visit www.colonclub.com. It is a website dedicated to raising awareness of colorectal cancer in “out of the box” ways. And they have some WAY out of the box ideas! Remember that the American Cancer Society has changed their statistics recently to reflect the fact that one out of every four people will have cancer in their lifetime. Be proactive! Know what to look for! (Going back to the colon club website; they have a wonderful calendar for sale. I’ve recently learned that “Miss April” has also had radiofrequency ablation, and is amazing at spreading the word about how wonderful the procedure is!) Keep it up!

Great Thoughts

Great minds discuss ideas.

Average minds discuss events.

Small minds discuss people.

Thank you to Eleanor Roosevelt for reminding me......

Get Checked!

Here’s my cautionary thought for the month......even though we are taught to abide by the “protocol” for all normal medical tests and procedures, if you have a family history of something, make sure you keep it in the forefront. As most people know (especially with the help of Katie Couric’s efforts after the untimely death of her husband), colonoscopies are generally done around age 50. However, if you have a family history of it, the defining age is much lower.....so much lower in fact, that my daughter is getting her first colonoscopy at age 18. (She is not especially thrilled with the thought....but understands how much easier things are if you catch things before they can spread). Pass it on.......

Happy Easter

Happy Easter! I will be spending the weekend getting ready for the Easter Bunny (yes, despite the fact that I have kids in college, the Easter Bunny STILL comes to my house!). Easter is traditionally a time for rededication and rebirth, and I wish everyone that visits this website grace and peace.

Just Hang On

Having spent the morning at M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, (and my news continues to be good by the way!), I have a positive message to relay. As I overhead my oncologist tell a new patient, sometimes one of the most important things a cancer patient can do is to “just hang on”. No matter how hard things are RIGHT NOW for you or your loved one, each and every day brings brand new treatment options. Just when you think you have exhausted all the new drugs and gizmos out there, presto! another one is approved and on the market. So don’t give up. Ever. Stay proactive about your own health. Keep looking for ideas. Keep as healthy as you can, stay positive, surround yourself with the people and things that you love. Prayer is good. So is reaching out if you need help.

So, from one patient to another, “hang on”.

On the Road Again

I am headed to Alabama again for scans today, so I’ll have more updated information soon. However, what a great send off I had this morning! A preview of the latest issue of the Houston Press, with an article called “KACC Mentality”. It’s all about my radio station and the students and what we are trying to do here. The reporter, John Lomax, rocks! Pick up the March 30 issue of the Houston Press if you can.....and say a prayer for good scan results too.......

Facing the Fear

I am constantly amazed at the number of emails I get from people that visit this website, and at the level of depth that they communicate. People from all over the world have shared their experiences with me, along with their best wishes and hopes for other cancer patients.

I am in the process of creating a collection of these “heart messages” (so named because they do come from the heart and mean so much), which I plan to share with you at a later date.

My current challenge is to continue on this bizarre road, with all its ups and downs in the cancer treatment arena. I am doing chemotherapy at M.D. Anderson and radiofrequency ablation at the American Cancer Ablation Center in Gulf Shores. I will also continue to touch as many cancer patients and their families as I can, and to share my experiences with them. Nothing comforts more than being with someone who’s been where you are right now. If there is one bit of advice I could give, it is this---Remember that you are in charge of your treatment. You know your own body better than anyone else, and you need to be comfortable with whatever protocol you are entering. Do not hesitate to jump into treatment if it seems right for you. I have seen more than a few people wait and wait and wait to “get comfortable with the idea”, only to find that they waited too long.

I love the quote “I choose to face the fear, stare it down, and emerge victorious.” I pray for victory for all of us, in whatever trail we are going through.

Giving it Up

Even if you don't follow the religious holidays, you have to recognize that the concept of giving up something for Lent is both humbling and a challenge. It is difficult to admit that there is an earthly thing as plebian as, say, eating chocolate or dropping laundry on the floor that becomes unexplainedly hard for us to give up. You would think we, as the most evolved species on the planet, could successfully give up anything we set our minds to! Not so. Yet, part of the beauty of the Lenten season is to come to terms with our own mortality and "human-ness", and to try again. So before you give up something mundane, just because you don't believe you have the staying power to do something more difficult, think again. I am really putting some thought to what I can do to show my faith in a new beginning....and I'd love to hear what your plans are!

Student Workers

Why is it that we want our children to be tough and strong and resilient, and at the same time not have to be? As a college professor, I hate the fact that many of my students hold down jobs with too many hours (usually so that they can have a "cool" car, or pay the insurance that goes with it). Their work schedule eliminates the opportunity to take advantage of internships, seminars, studying or just being college kids, and they often are too exhausted to do more than the bare minimum in class. So when my son went off to college, I told him that school was his first priority, and I didn't want him working. Yet, when he came home for holidays, I found myself strangely irritated that he had "off time". I want him not to have to work, but I want him to want to in order to contribute to the family. Wow. How confusing is that? (Note--my son (a sophomore at UT) starts his new part time on-campus job as a lifeguard this week. I held out as long as I could....)

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day! You know, it's more than hearts and candy to the one person you love. We all have lots more people in our lives that we depend on...and today I'd like to acknowledge that my life would be so much less without my co-workers that help me out, my neighbors that keep an eye on me, my church that helps take care of me, the folks that bring me dinners when I'm too sick to cook, my family that I rely on, and of course, everyone that wants to help me (or someone else in my situation!).

Happy Valentine's Day to all of you! I love you all......

All In the Way You Look At It....

I was just on the phone with a television reporter who is in the process of getting fired. It’s not that she has done anything wrong, it’s just that she probably makes too much money and management wants to bring in “new blood” (i.e. less expensive). Anyway, I took the call, expecting to hear all about how miserable it was, and how hateful she felt toward her employers. Instead, the overriding message was “even though the situation is bad, I’m sure it’s meant to propel me into a better and more lucrative position somewhere else.” Literally, that’s what she said. Isn’t it amazing how some people would consider a car bomb in a situation like this (who, me?) while others look at the bright side? I’m learning......

Interpretation

My thought for today--everything is subject to interpretation. What is good to one person is bad to another. I was eavesdropping at the hospital the other day, and overheard a woman describe how she had just gotten her diagnosis from her oncologist. Cancer in the liver. My mind projected forward to chemotherapy and hospitals and for a split second I felt sad...just as that same woman said "I am so blessed!!! It's only one organ and it's so treatable!" She actually sounded happy! May we all see the good side of things, like she did, within everything we do.

On the health front....why is it that I can be flexible and relaxed and not worry about finishing every little tiny task....until someone gives me a giant box of chocolates? Loving chocolate, I feel obligated to eat each and every one of them. I can't rest until I finish them all! As of this moment, I have 33 left.....32........yum.......31.......

My Health and My Kid's Adrenaline...

Okay, so on the medical front....my last ablation procedure got one tumor, and 75% of the one sitting next to my heart...but the other new ones were too small to ablate. So I start chemotherapy again in two weeks. Yuk. On the personal front, I am getting more and more grey hair, thanks to my children. This past week, both of them went skydiving. I watched the video of my daughter jumping out of the plane....there was absolutely no fear in her face at all. I was terrified just watching! Of course, my kids are adrenaline junkies. My daughter rock climbs, my son scuba dives and this week is doing an autocross (a gift from his race-car-driving grandfather). As for myself, I really like the excitement of walking to and from the refrigerator......

You Too and You Bet

Strange indeed......I got reports of extremely odd gifts from all sorts of folks. It fills my heart with gladness to see that I am not the only one with warped friends and family! This week school starts up again, and I am headed to Alabama for my “every-two-months, boy-is-it-expensive!” PET scans. Someone just asked me if it was worth it....I had to laugh. My response was “you’re talking to me, right?” Get it?

Happy New Year!

Happy 2006! This month, the first month of the new year, I am traveling back to Alabama for a set of scans to see what’s going on, and will have more information soon. I am still trekking back and forth to M.D. Anderson as well. As for news, the holidays were great, kids are great, life is great. So here’s my question....what was the oddest Christmas gift you got this past year? My daughter wins the 2005 award for getting a gorgeous silver ring that opens.....into a set of brass knuckles...hmmm....where do you go with that?